Lawak Orang Perak? Zahid Hamidi Ngan Akor Umbi

Saya pernah pergi ke rumah, dan masuk ke dalam rumah Ahmad Zahid Hamidi. Tapi dia tiada di rumah. Jadi tidak lah kami dapat berjumpa. Tidak pernah, walau sekali pun. Namun layanan yang diberikan keluarganya sewaktu saya ke sana, baik sekali.

Itu ler. Aye ade ler dengor cheghita Zahid nii Oghang Peghak ropernyer. Maker begini ler jadi lawaknyer.

Jangan maghah aargh, lawak sajer-sajer...

...

Zahid: Ater komer pegi ler tanyer nuu akor umbi UMNO.

Pekerja 1: Tanyer aper, Bos?

Zahid: Miker tanyer ler, aper pandangan deme, pase aku nak betandin.

Pekerja 2: Bos nak besandin dengan artis maner?

Zahid: Tak semiak bebenor miker ni. Bukan besandin! Besandin buat haper? Aku nak betandin. Cher nengok bibior aku nii. BeTandin!

Pekerja 2: Ooo, betandin! Jawatan aper Bos?

Zahid: Ater miker belum dengor lagi yer? Aku nok betandin jawatan Timbalan Presiden UMNO.

Pekerja 1: Chewah! Chewah!! Bos. Nanti Bos jadi PM yer ler?

Zahid: Belum ler, hajatnyer ke situ ler lambat-laun nyer. Tapi, TPM ler dulu. Setapak demi setapak ler.

Pekerja 2: Esiyh agok. Kalo ler Bos jadi TPM. Teman dapat jadi TTPM pun jadi ler.

Zahid: TTPM tu aper?

Pekerja 2: Timbalan Timbalan Perdana Menteri.

Zahid: Miker ni berangan jer ler, aku tampor muke miker kang, sekupang tok beguner.

Pekerja 2: Ater Bos boleh berangan, teman pun boleh juger ler.

Zahid: Aku ader strategi, miker ader aper?

Pekerja 2: Kalo Bos ada tragedi, teman pun ader juger tragedi.

Zahid: Lantak miker ler, tak sior aku nok melayan nyer. Pegi ler, miker tanyer-tanyer, aper pendapat akor umbi UMNO. Deme setuju dok sokong aku betandin jawatan Timbalan Presiden UMNO?

Pekerja 1: Nak pegi nii, err...adban tak der ke Bos?

Zahid: Nengok, miker nii belum keghoje udoh mintok upoh. Haghega minyak petrol samer diesel kan ker udoh naik. Maner aku nak ada duit. Sekupang ader ler.

Pekerja 2: Usoh ler buat lawok Bos. Bagi ler lima puloh rengget buat belanjer makan minum tambang menambang.

...

2 hari kemudian

...

Zahid: Hengh, macam maner? Aper kate deme?

Pekerja 1: Deme tak kate aper pon Bos!

Pekerja 2: He-engh, Bos, kami tanyer, deme diam jer!

Zahid: Heran pulok aku. Tak kan ler macam ini punya populer, deme buat diam ajer. Sekorang-korang nyer, enggeh ler, barang setuju ker, idok ker...Di maner dan beraper oghang kamu tanyer semenornyer?

Pekerja 1: Kami pegi merata sekitor Bagan Datuh nii jer.

Pekerja 2: Hulor pun dua puloh rengget, nak boleh sampei ke maner, Bos?

Zahid: Tak aper ler. Berape oghang yang kamu betanyer semenornyer?

Pekerja 1: Sorang pun idok.

Pekerja 2: Kami beduer tak tanyer oghang Bos.

Zahid: Usoh ler miker nok bede-ah! Habeh tu, kalo bukan oghang, aper ke bender nyer yang miker tanyer?

Pekerja 1 & 2: Akor Pokok Ubi!

Zahid: Pase aper miker bedue pegi tanyer akor pokok ubi, nak buat haper?

Pekerja 1: Ater Bos yang suroh tanyer Akor Ubi.

Zahid menepuk dahi, merenung tajam ke dalam mata mereka berdua. Rasa mahu sahaja di...dot dot dot kan 2 pekerja ini. Atau ikat sahaja keduanya atas pucuk pokok nyior!

InsyaAllah bersambung lagi kelak...

Sementara itu, ikuti Lah perbincangan pasal perkara yang sama di Blog Depa Kata.

03 October 2008

AKAR UMBI JENIS MANA HENDAKKAN ZAHID?

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